Thursday, July 31, 2008

Cars, zombies, etc.

I'm watching Total Recall right now while doing laundry. It's making me really wish that I lived on Mars.
First of all, I like the color red.
Second of all, girls go to Mars to get more candy bars, while boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider. It's just science!
But why I really want to move there is for the Johnny Car. Being able to tell an automaton where I want to go and not have to tip him or talk about his home country would be outstanding. I love talking to random strangers, but the pressure of having to be chatty and southern-sweet is especially difficult when you're staring at the back of someone's head.
As most of you know, the reason I didn't buy my Toyota with a standard transmission is for the simple fact that if a zombie invasion occurs,I want anyone of any age and ability to be able to drive my car. It's very thoughtful of me, really. But if I had a Johnny car, that wouldn't be a problem. The other solution, for now, is for me to hire a driver. I can pay you in Whiskas and high fives. I'll even let you wear one of my many hats so you'll feel important. Please send resumes and headshots to me via the myspace.
Time to load the dryer!