Wednesday

Me: When did you last cry?

Lanky kid: Last night....when I had diarrhea soooo bad. And next time I cry I'm going to write you a letter with the tears as proof.

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Me: What word would you use to describe yourself?

Lanky kid: *Pause* Chicken. *Pause* NO! TURKEY.

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Lanky kid: HEY JUMPER. I'm getting an owl *Pause* No. I'm getting a falcon. Then we can have *SCREEEEEEEEEECH* contests.