Me: So, did you have fun on the band trip? Meet any honeys?

Not So Small Emo Boy: No honeys, but they were definitely admirin' my stride.

Swagger boy 1: Dude, me and the old lady broke up last night. We are not getting back together this time.
Swagger boy 2: Whatever, dude, how is this any different than the 300 other times y'all broke up?
Swagger boy 1: Well, for one I didn't have glow-in-the-dark shoes or a glow-in-the-dark phone case back then...

Bespeckled girl: *calmly, with chin on fist* See...this is just like what I've been saying. You know, it's like my narwhal crossed with a horse idea....so you can ride an underwater unicorn....