Noted.

Sqweeeeeee!

Band girl: *Pops head in doorway* Heyyy, Miss Jumper. Well, I finally took my brace off. Yeah, I left it out and the pigs got a hold of it. I had to hit 'em with sticks so they'd let go! Well...time for class!

Back to School

School is in full swing. It is approximately 4,220 degrees outside but the kids are in good spirits.
Their art teacher, however, is cranky.

School is Out

Don't talk to me until August unless it's about cats, Froot Loops, or sledding.

Moving right along.

Boy: What is a Muppet, anyway?
Girl: It's a Marie Antoinette combined with a puppet.
*Pause*
Boy: Do you mean marionette????
Girl: Oh yeah...I can't ever pronounce that right.


Overheard at lunch...
Space Cadet: I'm not bipolar...I just say f$#! a lot.

PostSecret...teen edition

Our last assignment of the year is about secrets. They were asked to make a PostSecret-style artwork. Here are some of my favorites....

Show me yo teef.

Space Cadet: He needs braces. Okay, you know how people from Massachussets and Maine have narrow teeth? *Makes narrow teeth motion* His teeth are like that...it scares me.

Gumraffe

Who's got change for this 20?

Me: I'm going to Vegas this summer!
Space Cadet: You are?! You should go see those hot male dancers...the Fire from Down Yonder...
Me: You mean the Thunder From Down Under?
Space Cadet: Saaaaaame thhhiiiinnnng.

I've got the pre kind.

Baby Hipster: Jess seems sad today, she's sleeping at the table.
Me: What's wrong with her?
Baby Hipster: Ohh, I think she has that post-mortem depression.
Me: Hmmmmm......

PETA, Paul, and Mary....

Space Cadet: And you know..I'm not helping the Special Olympics anymore....I mean, there are special animals in the world, too. Some have broken legs and some have really bad ear aches. Let's help them instead....

Another victory for public schools...

Mystery Backpack Kid: Heyyy, I see y'all are going to Italy. Ummm...are y'all driving or flying?
Me: *slowly puts marker down, turns, stares blankly* Huhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?!!!!
Mystery Backpack Kid: Oh, well wait...is it down south or on the other side of the world?
Me: *stares blankly* Other side of the world.....
Mystery Backpack Kid: Ohhh, okay cool...I haven't been to the other side of the world in a while...*exits room*
Me: *stares blankly*

-End Scene-

Facepalm on the prairie...

Small Emo Boy: *yelling as he runs into room* MISS JUMPER!!!!! KALEB IS WEARING A V-NECK T-SHIRT AND HE WON'T LET ME DRAW CHEST HAIR ON HIM AND IT'S KILLING MEEEEEE!
Me: *facepalm*

Blonde cheerleader: We're watching an "Inconvenient Truth" in class and it's, like, soooo scary.
Blonde wrestler: Did you know that's based on a true story??
Blonde cheerleader: Cause it IS a true story, idiot.
Blonde wrestler: *stunned* WHAT?!?!?!?
Blonde cheerleader: *facepalm*

Sage Wisdom Thursday

One of my wisest hippy girls is a bountiful fountain of knowledge. I love hearing what she has to say....

"...And I never went on that merry-go-round again!!!"

"She doesn't even act like a nun!"

"Gramma is an outlaw...she sings to snails..."

"That's when I found out that turtles NEED their shells."

"I wish elephants laid eggs."

"If I had an elephant, I'd dress it like an eskimo. It'd look like a mammoth but I'd do it anyway."

To be continued....

Every Ranch begins with R

"Miss Jumper, will you have salad with me?"

Go here!

http://www.olahelland.net/giraffes/

to see these...

Overheard..

Small Emo Kid: Rubber?! I hardly know her!!!

Totally Pictastic Tuesday

That's what she said.

Space Cadet: The way she walks, like, it reminds you of Satan. She's sporty and tough and redheaded...And I, like, don't wanna fight the devil...Satan, I rebuke you, man....

Small Freshman: If I were falling off a cliff I'd take my clothes off 'cause if I was born naked I'm gonna die naked. *swigs Mt. Dew*

XXX

This week will mark my entry into the world of the unknown...a dreaded and mysterious time that no self-respecting child of the 80s discusses. I am turning 30. The students have had a countdown on the board since the 3rd week of school and it's growing into single digits, which terrifies me.
One of the sweeties got me this fine goat as a gift. I think it symbolizes my pact with Satan. Or they found it in their closet over break. Whatevs.