Why, yes, I am hood.

What's better than walking into your classroom and finding a 10 lb. textbook duct taped to your floor?

Getting to go gangsta on the sonsabitches responsible. I done took my earrings off, y'all...these kids don't know where I'm from, y'all. I got ram-buc-tuous on them, y'all. I bet they won't eff with this broad again...

In other news, I've spent the past 4,305 hours building all the furniture I ordered from Sears. I cried. I sweated. I cursed. I watched a Will and Grace marathon from start to finish. And now I have a bed, a nightstand, a tv stand, 3 tables, and fifteen splinters in my calves. Don't ask.

I keep dreaming about making out with Barack Obama and Bob Saget. Not simultaneously, you pervert. What does that mean? Is DJ gonna get all weepy on me? Will I have to fist-fight Michelle Obama AND Michelle Tanner....again? Stay tuned.

Oh, snap, Katt Williams is on. Paaaaaaaace.