End of Summer

Summer is almost over and that is stupid.
Eric "CWP" Smith has requested I update.
I completed all of my goals. I drank, tanned, tanned and dranked. I'm now visitin some Ashevillains to send out the summer right.
I will be starting at a new school in August. And by new I mean old, cause I went to school there. Gulp.

School are over

It has been one glorious week since I stepped foot in a school and I've gotten alot accomplished.
-Tannin'
-Drankin'
-Waterparkin'
-Drankin'
-Tannin'
I need a hobby that you can do while drinking and tanning. I know...drinking and tanning!
*gluglug*

Today's Threat/Compliment/Injury

Junior Boy: Heyyy, Ms. Jumper...are you gonna be here next year?
Me: Nope. I'm not.
Junior Boy: *pause* I will destroy you.

Ten minutes later....

Junior Boy: Heyy, Ms. Jumper...does this look infected?

End Scene

Today's Fact

Banana peels were once beaten and dried to use as papyrus by students on remote islands hundreds of years ago. Probably.
Today my students followed in that tradition to let me know that they were going to home ec to dry their socks. Why use real paper when you can use my breakfast??

Open Post Hosted by JC (not the Lord & Saviour)

Shout out to my girl JC....
She's giving away smell-goods, girl.
Go do it, girl.
Girl!
http://mymeremotif.blogspot.com/

Like, totally.random post

I wish I had a dollar for everytime I heard the word "like" during my day.

"Ohmygawyall, I like, totally watched this weird movie last night...it's called "Mermaids", but...it's like, totally not even ABOUT mermaids!"

Also, this Monster energy drink is taking over the world of boys age 14-18. They LOVE this stuff. Gross. It tastes and looks like engine coolant. Trust me.

Lastly, the words "retarded" and "gay" are not okay to use as synonyms for "stupid". You'd be surprised how many TEACHERS I hear use these words. I used to until I really thought about how hateful they are. So just stop.

Open Post hosted by Sarah Blakely...

I can't think of anything to write, so I asked my best pal Jonna "Heisman" Brown to give me a topic.
She chose the topic of "Spanx". She's never led me astray, so I'll roll with it.
If you're a female (or a drag queen) and have never used these, then you are foolish and deserve to be ridiculed. Many high-powered and important ladies swear by these magical girdles..Oprah,Beyonce, John Travolta... I am convinced that they're sewn by angels out of threads of pure love. They are more important to mankind than any stupid vaccine or invention. They suck in everything and don't creep or roll, and that alone spares the world alot of grief. Have you ever been around a woman whose pantyhose don't fit right during an important event? Not. Fun.
So in conclusion, Spanx are the most important invention of the past 2000 years. Also, they've allowed me to write this, and in doing so I've put off doing my laundry for about 15 minutes, and that is a gift in itself. Thanks, Jonna. And thank you, Spanx.