Totally Pictastic Tuesday

That's what she said.

Space Cadet: The way she walks, like, it reminds you of Satan. She's sporty and tough and redheaded...And I, like, don't wanna fight the devil...Satan, I rebuke you, man....

Small Freshman: If I were falling off a cliff I'd take my clothes off 'cause if I was born naked I'm gonna die naked. *swigs Mt. Dew*

XXX

This week will mark my entry into the world of the unknown...a dreaded and mysterious time that no self-respecting child of the 80s discusses. I am turning 30. The students have had a countdown on the board since the 3rd week of school and it's growing into single digits, which terrifies me.
One of the sweeties got me this fine goat as a gift. I think it symbolizes my pact with Satan. Or they found it in their closet over break. Whatevs.

How to beat your teen into submission..the Jingle Cats way!

I like everything about that statement..

Me: Hey, what are you gonna do after high school?
Small Freshman: Make my own brand of tissues, go to college, and be a lawyer *Swigs Dr. Pepper and walks away*

Monday Mayhem

Fun Fridays-Updated

Me: Hey, how was the sub yesterday?
Small Emo Boy: She flipped me off and made me brush her hair.

Me: You should name your new cat Taylor.
Spacey Girl: No! That's my friend Taylor's name! *Scrapes cheese off Sonic wrapper with teeth* I'm thinking 'Cheesepaper'.

Kid to other kid: HEY! GIMME BACK MY UNICORN!!!!

Spacey Girl: Man, Miss Jumper...you are so lucky I didn't drop this biscuit on the ground when the door hit me in the head! (I AM lucky, that biscuit was gooood)


An open letter to the family of a wasp, murdered in cold blood, by a sophomore boy:

Dear Mr. Wasp,
I am terribly sorry for killing you. It really felt like you were trying to sting me so I was just protecting myself and my classmates. I hope you understand where I'm coming from. It was just my natural instincts kicking in. They told me "hey, that wasp is going to sting you, someone better kill it", so I killed you. IT was only for the betterment of the class. My sincerest apologies go out to your family and friends.